Dear Parents,
I have been teaching teenagers for 32 years. For 29 of those years, I lived with teenagers, 24/7. I regularly hear from past students who still call me Mama Weeks because I was a constant in their lives when they were living away from home. In fact, I just received a Christmas card from a past student, who is now 42 years old, who said “you are my chosen family and always will be.” I have raised a son, who is now 25. All in all, I feel as though I have a broad and deep view of how teenagers tick.
BUT, whenever I am lulled into believing I have the answers, I am reminded that no one ever completely understands teenagers. Yes, there are experts who write books, there are school psychologists, there are consultants, there are those parents teens like to spend time with, but honestly, in the end, teenagers challenge and surprise us every day.
We have just finished the last class of the Consortium Course that runs for a year, enrolling 16 students from AIS, Haverford, Baldwin, and Shipley combined. This has been the third year of this reinstated interdisciplinary, inter-school academic experience, so the Upper School directors felt it was time to get feedback from the students on how the course was being received. After an afternoon of discussion, we Upper School directors truly felt we knew what changes should be made to the course, and, in fact, we thought we came up with some pretty cool ideas. Well… last night we asked the students to assess their experience and to react to our suggestions. Sadly, but not surprisingly, we were all wrong in what we had assumed! As we listened to the students’ comments, we were humbled, once again, in our need to acknowledge that we just didn’t know what they were feeling.
The point? As adults, we need to consistently remind ourselves that we just simply don’t always have our collective finger on the teenage pulse. We need to consistently provide the chance for teens to give us honest and unfiltered feedback. We need to actively listen, be slow to pass judgment, if at all, and to communicate clearly that we are open and willing to hear what they have to say. Yes, this is hard. And, yes, it may mean we hear about the mistakes they have made or the uninformed opinions they have formed. But if we don’t allow them to experiment, to question, to challenge, they will never become independent adults. Ultimately, what we want is for them to be independent, so they will navigate life at college and beyond with confidence and success.
This next week is one of my favorite times of the year. With the holiday break just a few days away, we get to hear beautiful music from the chorus and Bel Cantos, my advisory works on a gingerbread house, we feel the excitement of the season, and, of course, the culminating event is the all school assembly. Faculty perform, but the best part is to watch each grade level sing the Twelve Days of Christmas. Though a secular song, the true focus is each grade level’s enthusiastic interpretation of their specific verse. The youngest girls sing in a genteel manner until they hear the older girls throw their energy and strength into their voices, and suddenly, the little ones learn what it means to compete in a spirited interpretation of a traditional song. It is truly a community event.
Please enjoy the upcoming events of the Winter Concert this coming Monday night and the US Parent Coffees the first week we return in January.
Whether you are spending the holidays at home, with relatives, or abroad, may your days and travels be comforting, restful, and renewing. And, let me wish all of you an early Happy New Year!
Anne