In this op-ed, Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC, co-founder of Viva Wellness, explains how to cope with race-based trauma.
When the news of Ahmaud Arbery’s death became widespread, I can’t say that I was surprised. I was, however, shocked that a video of this man’s last moments on earth was circulating widely on the internet. As a Black man I was stunned. As a therapist, I was immediately concerned.
We’ve made incredible ground in the past few decades with technology. Folks around the globe have immediate access to information and news on the ground whenever they want it. But, it has an insidious side too. This means that the darker sides of existence are that much harder to gain distance from, including the ongoing violence against Black people in the United States.
Seeing videos like Arbery’s killing or reading the news of Breonna Taylor’s death is exposure to trauma for Black people. Nina Pop’s recent death is a reminder of the ever-present transphobia and misogynoir Black women experience. Now we are also coming to grips with more recent incidents such as the killing of George Floyd at the hands of police and the incident involving Christian Cooper in New York City' Central Park. Someone recently asked, “Can we heal if this is always going on?” While I don’t feel like I can offer a reassuring answer to that question, I will say that we can do what we're able to heal on our own scale — with ourselves and the people around us.
But, healing is hard. Instead, maybe coping is a helpful, and functional goal right now. When we can’t seemingly have sustained peace, we can and must find our own ways to cope.
Coping Looks Different on Everyone
As a mental health professional, I can’t help but think how harmful it is to continue to witness and read about the deaths of those who are like you. Racism is not good for our mental health, and studies have shown an association between racism and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Now, we have the research to support what many of us already know — that viewing police killings or distressing news towards one’s racial-ethnic group is connected to worsened mental health. Yes, videos create awareness. However, we have to be mindful about the negative mental health impact of seeing a senseless killing play out right in front of our eyes.
Coping after these events can vary a great deal, and might be different for everyone. Coping might look like getting more sleep, or debriefing with people in your inner circle or community to get things off your chest. It can also mean avoiding the news cycle for a bit. It's up to you to figure out what coping mechanisms work best for you.
As you begin to find ways to deal with the ongoing violence against Black people, it's important to continue to check in with yourself to make sure your coping is healthy. The key is to watch for the potential negative consequences of your coping. When that debriefing, avoidance of the news, or activism starts to create other negative consequences in your life, then it’s likely time to develop more tools to help you manage your thoughts and feelings more responsibly. Talking through those thoughts and feelings with a therapist is a great place to start.
Everyone Needs Support
Regardless of your preferred coping method, even the most well-adjusted, high functioning folks need support from time to time. Reaching out to others for support is not a weakness, but an act of incredible wisdom, emotional maturity and insight.
We can look to our past for insight: Black Americans didn’t survive slavery in isolation. They embraced their immediate collective to build each other up to withstand unforgivably traumatic circumstances. Those who survived ultimately embraced a sense of communal support to help carry them through.
There’s so much that many of us can do to ensure the next generations do not have to grieve the same senseless deaths that we are right now. If you feel well enough to do that work, please do. It can look like grassroots organizing, letter-writing, educating friends and family or even working in silence to become anti-racist yourself. Action can certainly help us cope.
However, inaction might also be important for you. Coping sometimes is also about not allowing yourself to be sensitized to needless death. Coping, as painful as it is, requires an acknowledgment of how deep the fear, anxiety, and anger runs in your body when you think about Ahmaud’s, Breonna’s or Nina’s deaths.
We certainly have a lot of work to do, but as we continue to do that work, we must not forget to take care of ourselves. Learning how to cope is an important part of that care.
